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No One Likes Me

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Dear Street Sage –

At work I feel as if no one likes me. I don’t understand, I’m friendly and I make jokes. My co workers are nice to my face, but I can tell they don’t really like me. I just think everyone is stuck up. What do you suggest for me to do to find my way into the “in” crowd?

– C.H.

Dear C.H.-

First of all, this is not high school. This is your place of employment. All I know about you is what you told me with three sentences. My suggestion is that you take a look at yourself and your actions. If you are telling me this is the vibe you are getting from all of your co workers, then maybe it’s you and not them. You say you are friendly, are you overly friendly? Boarder line creepy maybe? I do not know if you are male or female even, but maybe you give off a bad vibe to the opposite sex and they avoid you because of it. You say that you make jokes, but you do realize you are at work right? Are your jokes appropriate? You think your co workers are all stuck up, but how do they treat each other and others who aren’t in the “in” crowd? With the very little I know about you, I would suggest you check yourself a bit and get back to me.

That’s just my opinion.

– The Street Sage

Tired Worker

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Dear Street Sage-

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I am a good worker. I’m on time, I work hard, I encourage my co workers, but I have had no promotions. How do I make my employers see me in a different light. I need to move up or out!

-Tired Worker

Dear Tired Worker-

After reading your question these are the questions that pop into my head…

1) Have you told your employers that you want to move up in your company?

2) Do you have all the necessary qualifications to move up? (whatever that might mean, degree, # years of experience, etc)

3) Is there an open position? If there is, is it a job you apply for or get picked for?

Ok, after all those generall questions, that should make you think too. What you need to do is speak up for yourself, someone who wants to move up to higher positions should not be afraid to advocate for themselves. Make sure there is no doubt in the mind of whomever is in charge, that you want to step it up. In fact, be persistent, If you get passes up for the next step up, ask your supervisor/employer/boss to have a sit down with you. Ask them why you didn’t get chosen and how you can improve to make it to the next level. That would show that you are willing to admit you are not perfect and that you are willing to grow.

Don’t secretly be mad about getting passed up, make sure they know you’re in it to be the best and excel in whatever tasks they throw your way. They can’t promote you if they don’t think you’re interested.

That’s just my opinion.

– The Street Sage

 

Married?

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Dear Street Sage, 

What are your thoughts on dating a married person? Am I a bad person if I do? I have a strong connection with this person on many levels, I just don’t know what to do.

– Confused

Dear Confused-

You are not a bad person. You can not help who you fall in love with. The thing is with married people is that they are married. More often than not they are going to stay married. How long have you know this person? How long have you had a connection? Has this person made any sort of move forward in getting a divorce? If the answer is ‘no’, then you know a divorce is not on the table. There are always reason for dating outside of marriage, some of them are legitimate reasons, but you have to know your reasons for allowing it. Sometimes it’s worth it to be loved, even if it’s only on random evenings at your place, as long as you never spend the night together. But do you really want to put yourself in a relationship where you NEVER come first? A relationship where you can’t be mad if they cheat on you because most likely it was with their WIFE/HUSBAND? Why let yourself fall in love with someone who can’t give you a happy ending? Don’t fool yourself, be realistic. Think of your own needs. You deserve the best someone can offer you, we all do.

You say you have a strong connection with this person, embrace that. As people we need to embrace those relationships as often as we can. We have more than one soul mate, I know I do. You have to be strong because loving the wrong person hurts. It always hurts. But, we’re survivors by nature, and you will get through this.

Again, I would like to say, you are not a bad person. You need to start thinking more about yourself, thinking this is the kind of relationship you deserve is just wrong. I’m sorry. In any relationship the best of someone is what should be expected as well as offered. I’ll give you my tangent on relationships next week. But for now, think more of yourself, believe you deserve better and go sleep with someone random to help yourself move on.

That’s just my opinion.

– The Street Sage