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Friend Zone

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Dear Street Sage –

I’m a bigger girl; thick, fat, curvy, pleasantly plump, etc.. I am very confidant in who I am, I know I have a great personality and generally people like me, however, I don’t date often. I have lots of guy friends, some have said (way to late) that they have had feelings for me…the guys I have dated always end up being…let’s just say, not the right guy. I feel like I have dated every guy who has ever been vocal about liking me, my friends tell me I am wrong. How do you know you’re putting people in “friend zone”? I also lose confidence when it comes to guys liking me. I feel like it is hard for me to believe that someone could actually like me, in that way. I listen to guys talk, I know the type of girl they comment on and I’m definitely not that. How can I make sure I don’t put guys in the friend zone to quickly?

– Friend Zone

Dear Friend Zone –

If you’re anything like me, and I know I am, you love people. When you are very open and friendly it intimidates guys and they don’t think they have a chance with you. Let’s face it, the good guys aren’t confidant enough to think they have a chance with someone who is so sure of themselves. unfortunately for women the confidant guys are assholes, usually. As far as how big you are, it shouldn’t matter. Not to someone who really cares about you. If some guy doesn’t want to date you because of your weight, he’s not the right guy for you anyway. Even though you seem to be a very confidant person in some respects it also seems like you need to love yourself just a little bit more, thick girls can be just as sexy, you just have to believe that. The moment you don’t believe a guy could actually like you is the same moment you have put the relationship in friend zone. It may feel like you have dated every guy that has ever vocally stated their feelings but I find that hard to believe, how many people have you had crushes on and didn’t act on it? We live in an era where men feel as if they shouldn’t be the only ones making moves. An era where asking someone out on Facebook is acceptable and online dating makes more sense to people than actually having a conversation to find out if you’re compatible. TImes they are a changin’. Maybe you should start being more vocal on your own feelings…

That’s just my opinion.

– The Street Sage

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