on a tangent , at a tangent on a completely different ordivergent course, esp of thought: to go off at a tangent
I have decided it is time to have a day that you, my readers, can get to know me a little better. It will be a day strictly for me to rant about how I feel about world issues, little issues, medium size issues, issues I can’t fix, etc.
This week is just me telling you that it’s a thing that will happen…next week, TANGENT TUESDAY 🙂
– The Street Sage
Dear Street Sage,
I often find myself giving advice to my friends. I often find myself in ridiculous situations. I often get annoyed if I’m receiving advice. I’m not sure if it’s because I feel like I’m being told something I already know or if it is because it makes me feel weak. So I’m not really sure what I want from you, I guess the real question is, how do I take my own advice?
Dear Advice Giver-
There is no secret to taking your own advice, you either do or you don’t. People need to start understanding that they are in control of what they do and the choices they make. Yes, there are influences all around us, but in the final end we make our own decisions. I try to portray that in my advice, I do not have YOUR final answer. All I have is a very small amount of information that YOU have chosen to give me. All I can do is see what some options are and suggest how one might handle them. I think you should try to do the same for yourself and those you give advice. We all make choices, even ones we know are wrong or might make us unhappy in the end. But we do what we do and we learn from everything, if no one made bad choices how would we know what the right ones are? On top of that, who is to say what is a bad choice. Sometimes we justify our actions because we want people to understand them.
Example: I’m sleeping with a married man, do I know it is wrong and do I hate myself a little for it? Yes, yes I do. But do I do it anyway because I need that kind of affection right now? Yes, yes I do.
So I guess I could argue with myself if there is even such thing as a “bad choice”, since I also encourage people to never regret anything. The best way to give advice is to simply listen. When people are asking for advice they give all the details that they want you to know that will lead you to give them the advice they’ve been looking for. They want you to tell them what they’re deciding is the right thing. We all know that isn’t always the case, there is always a wild card. Trust yourself and know in the end, Advice Giver, you are the only one who can make yourself listen to you.
That’s just my opinion.
– Street Sage
Dear Street Sage,
My one and only brother has been using heroin. We live very different lives and so it is hard to relate. He had been using, got himself clean, then started using again. It wasn’t until he relapsed that he told me of his situation. Sadly there are only a few people who know about this and can give him support. Being that I don’t know much about this kind of thing, how can I support him? We don’t live in the same state, we don’t have a lot in common and I’ve never done any drugs….What can I do?
If your brother is talking to you at all about his situation, consider that a good thing. The problem with drugs is…they’re awesome. They make you feel good and that’s what people get addicted to, feeling good. You can not push him into getting any kind of professional help. He has to want that on his own. But what you can do is gather information on rehab centers near him, Narcotics Anonymous meetings in his area and connect with those who also know of his addiction. When supporting an addict, you need support yourself. You said only a few people knew of his situation so make sure that you don’t betray his trust because he will stop talking to you about what’s happening with him. If he does that you should worry. Since this is still the early stage of you figuring out what to do, the best thing I can tell you to do is educate yourself on what can help him in his area.
That’s just my opinion. Good luck, write me again if you need me.
– The Street Sage