Stream the Sage

Cheating

2

Dear Street Sage, 

I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year and I think he may be cheating on me. I’ve asked him about it and he denies it. But he’s been distant and we’ve been having less sex. I don’t want to become the crazy girlfriend, how can I find out if he is really cheating?

– Confused

Dear Confused,

If you have not ended the relationship at this point you must believe him on some level that he is not cheating. Either that, or you believe he is cheating and you don’t care enough to leave him. There are many different kinds of relationships out there. But if you have not agreed to be in some sort of open relationship, cheating is not OK. It seems to me you need to spell things out very clearly, make him talk to you about what’s going on with him. Is there extra stress at work or within his family? Usually when there is extra stress added to life, sex drive goes down. Maybe he wants to end your relationship and doesn’t know how….

Suggestions:

– Wait it out, see if he gets through his slump

– Tell him if he doesn’t talk to you about what’s going on you’ll leave him, hear his response, act accordingly

– End the relationship. If you are not happy, not getting enough sex,  always worried about him cheating and he is not communicating with you then it doesn’t seem to be a very healthy relationship

I am a firm believer that we, as humans, will do anything in life until we can no longer do it. That is just my opinion.

– Street Sage

Happy Jobs

0

Dear Street Sage-

How do you balance doing a job you hate with making the money you need from that job?

-B.A.

Dear B.A.-

One of my favorite sayings is, “You will do anything until you can’t anymore”. It is true that we often work jobs because we HAVE to not because we WANT to. I suggest in your spare time you look for another job that can make you happier and still give you the monies you need. I am a firm believer it is not worth the money to hate life every day, for up to eight hours. Maybe you find a job you like that pays you just a little less, worth it. If you really hate your job and you are not looking for a new one, then do not complain. Only you can fix this situation. I know it is another full-time job to find a job, but once you find something better, life in general will be better, worth it.

To reiterate: Having a job you hate is not worth it. Find something better for your life. That’s just my opinion.

– Street Sage

White Boy

0

Dear Street Sage,

Can I say “nigga”? Preface: I play a lot of basketball, or “street ball” as some would say. Yesterday, I played with seven black men who frequently said “nigga”. Often, I am called “white boy”. I never say “nigga”. I call them by their names because I interrogative myself. Yesterday, I earned respect for my game and they just called me “Bob”. But here in the 21st century, where should people stand on the word “Nigga”. It’s popularized in black culture and used often, should I feel it is taboo or can I use it as a show of respect, familiarity in proper context?

~ “White” “Boy”

Dear “White” “Boy”,

No. I do not think you should be using that word. Give it a try around these particular men if you feel you have enough cred with them. You may get your ass kicked. You may not. Either way, that’s the only real way for you to find out. Or if they call you “white boy” again then try…”don’t call me white boy, I don’t call you nigga”. See a reaction, respond accordingly. If these particular men are ok with you using that word, people  in the street may not be. Be aware of your surroundings. Even in the 21st century the word “nigga” is still offensive, racist, and disrespectful. You are correct in saying that it is popularized in black culture, again I will point out, you are not black.

I don’t think anyone should be using that word anymore. That’s just my opinion.

– Street Sage