Vast Archives of Wisdom

Home › Advice

Life Changer

0

Dear Street Sage –

How do you change your life?

– Needs a New Life

Life Changer-

Well then, very broad question. You know how you change your life? One freakin’ day at a time. It’s a good idea to know the big picture, what you want you life to be. Then every day you wake up think to yourself, ‘what can I do TODAY that can help me get to that picture?’.

Maybe you want to be a vegetarian, so today you don’t eat meat. When you wake up tomorrow you might make that same decision, or not. Either way it needs to be OK. When you wake up the day after that try not to eat meat, etc. eventually one day you will wake up and you won’t have to think about eating meat, you just won’t. But it could take some time and could be very hard to do. Don’t set yourself up for failure of life, you might fail a day here and there and that’s OK.

I think this same mentality can be helpful if you’re trying to change anything; how clean you keep your house, how often you shower, how often you work out, how much you drink or smoke weed, etc..  Waking up every day and making the right choices is a hard task. Making yourself see the positive side of things can be tiresome, yet very necessary. Smile and laugh. Truly enjoy life and the people around you. It’s all about the way of thinking. Sometimes getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do and if you can do it, then you’ve already won the first challenge of the day. Life is hard and it’s hard to change. Get through the day, that’s all you have to do.

That’s just my opinion.

– The Street Sage

Friend Zone

0

Dear Street Sage –

I’m a bigger girl; thick, fat, curvy, pleasantly plump, etc.. I am very confidant in who I am, I know I have a great personality and generally people like me, however, I don’t date often. I have lots of guy friends, some have said (way to late) that they have had feelings for me…the guys I have dated always end up being…let’s just say, not the right guy. I feel like I have dated every guy who has ever been vocal about liking me, my friends tell me I am wrong. How do you know you’re putting people in “friend zone”? I also lose confidence when it comes to guys liking me. I feel like it is hard for me to believe that someone could actually like me, in that way. I listen to guys talk, I know the type of girl they comment on and I’m definitely not that. How can I make sure I don’t put guys in the friend zone to quickly?

– Friend Zone

Dear Friend Zone –

If you’re anything like me, and I know I am, you love people. When you are very open and friendly it intimidates guys and they don’t think they have a chance with you. Let’s face it, the good guys aren’t confidant enough to think they have a chance with someone who is so sure of themselves. unfortunately for women the confidant guys are assholes, usually. As far as how big you are, it shouldn’t matter. Not to someone who really cares about you. If some guy doesn’t want to date you because of your weight, he’s not the right guy for you anyway. Even though you seem to be a very confidant person in some respects it also seems like you need to love yourself just a little bit more, thick girls can be just as sexy, you just have to believe that. The moment you don’t believe a guy could actually like you is the same moment you have put the relationship in friend zone. It may feel like you have dated every guy that has ever vocally stated their feelings but I find that hard to believe, how many people have you had crushes on and didn’t act on it? We live in an era where men feel as if they shouldn’t be the only ones making moves. An era where asking someone out on Facebook is acceptable and online dating makes more sense to people than actually having a conversation to find out if you’re compatible. TImes they are a changin’. Maybe you should start being more vocal on your own feelings…

That’s just my opinion.

– The Street Sage

Take Your Own Advice

0

Dear Street Sage, 

I often find myself giving advice to my friends. I often find myself in ridiculous situations. I often get annoyed if I’m receiving advice. I’m not sure if it’s because I feel like I’m being told something I already know or if it is because it makes me feel weak. So I’m not really sure what I want from you, I guess the real question is, how do I take my own advice?

-Advice Giver

Dear Advice Giver-

There is no secret to taking your own advice, you either do or you don’t.  People need to start understanding that they are in control of what they do and the choices they make. Yes, there are influences all around us, but in the final end we make our own decisions. I try to portray that in my advice, I do not have YOUR final answer. All I have is a very small amount of information that YOU have chosen to give me. All I can do is see what some options are and suggest how one might handle them. I think you should try to do the same for yourself and those you give advice. We all make choices, even ones we know are wrong or might make us unhappy in the end. But we do what we do and we learn from everything, if no one made bad choices how would we know what the right ones are? On top of that, who is to say what is a bad choice. Sometimes we justify our actions because we want people to understand them.

Example: I’m sleeping with a married man, do I know it is wrong and do I hate myself a little for it? Yes, yes I do. But do I do it anyway because I need that kind of affection right now? Yes, yes I do.

So I guess I could argue with myself if there is even such thing as a “bad choice”, since I also encourage people to never regret anything. The best way to give advice is to simply listen. When people are asking for advice they give all the details that they want you to know that will lead you to give them the advice they’ve been looking for. They want you to tell them what they’re deciding is the right thing. We all know that isn’t always the case, there is always a wild card. Trust yourself and know in the end, Advice Giver, you are the only one who can make yourself listen to you.

That’s just my opinion.

– Street Sage